Starting and running a business with your romantic partner is a unique blend of professional and personal challenges. This can be a formidable undertaking, but when managed correctly, it can also result in a thriving enterprise and a strengthened relationship. Many entrepreneurs are drawn to the idea of partnering with their partners in business ventures; attracted to the idea of working with someone they know and trust, excited about the possibility of reducing overhead costs and motivated by the idea of building something with the person who means the most to them.
Some couples thrive when working together; some businesses fail when partners can’t navigate the added complexity of dual relationships. An appreciation that working with a romantic partner can be both simultaneously the best and the worst thing is important to protect both the business and relationship. Here are a few ways couples can protect themselves and their businesses when working together:
Define your roles clearly
Understanding your distinct skills and preferences allows you to define your roles more precisely. This is not about power but about synergy and cohesion. For instance, if one partner is excellent at negotiations and client interaction, they can take the lead in sales, while the other partner, if good at research and analytics, can handle market strategy. Write an outline of how you like to work, share responsibilities, collaborate, communicate and receive feedback. Over time, these roles may evolve. Remember to maintain a fluid approach, continually assessing and adjusting your roles to fit the current needs of your business. Regularly ask each other the question, “is this still working for you.”
Maintain open communication
Open communication extends beyond sharing ideas and making decisions. It includes understanding each other’s working style, feedback mechanisms, and stress triggers. Are you a morning person while your partner is more productive at night? Do you prefer direct feedback while your partner appreciates a gentler approach? How do you define success? Discussing these nuances can dramatically improve your working relationship.
Your home can serve as both a haven for love and a hub for business operations, especially in today’s remote working climate. Establish physical boundaries in your home – dedicate specific areas for work, and ensure common spaces are free of business-related clutter. Psychological boundaries are just as important; set times when you are both ‘off the clock’ and agree to respect these limits. Regularly ask, “what else is there besides work.”
Remember to nurture your relationship
Taking the time to cultivate your relationship outside of the work environment is crucial. Remember to celebrate personal milestones like anniversaries, along with business achievements. Small acts of love and kindness can go a long way in reminding each other of your bond beyond the business. A surprise lunch during a busy workday, a handwritten note of appreciation, or an impromptu dance session in the living room can inject joy and positivity into your shared life. If the demands of work make it hard to even remember to make “deposits in the relationship bank”, set some reminders on your calendar to connect in ways that will matter to your partner.
Have a conflict resolution strategy
Conflict resolution can become complicated when personal feelings are entangled with business issues. Create a set of ‘fair fighting’ rules: no name-calling, no blaming, and no bringing up past errors in the heat of a current disagreement. Having a pre-established, respectful framework for handling disagreements can be extremely useful in the heat of the moment.
Cultivate separate interests
Independence is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship. Having separate interests or hobbies offers a much-needed respite from the all-consuming nature of running a business together. It also brings new energy and fresh perspectives to the table, thereby benefiting both your relationship and your business.
Plan for the future
Drafting a co-ownership agreement isn’t merely a safety net for worst-case scenarios. It also encourages you to discuss and align your business vision and goals. Your growth strategies, exit plans, succession plans – all these aspects require mutual agreement and understanding.
Be each other’s cheerleader
Couples that work best together commit to having each other’s backs. They don’t undermine one another, scapegoat or blame. That doesn’t mean there isn’t room to challenge, but that is done in a way that is constructive and not damaging. Couples that are successful in business together celebrate the wins, build each other up and over communicate encouragement and support.
How Counseling can Help
Counseling can provide significant benefits to romantic partners who also run a business together. Balancing personal and professional roles can be a complex task, often leading to various kinds of stress and conflict. Here are several ways counseling could be beneficial:
Communication is key to any relationship, whether personal or professional. Counselors can provide guidance on how to communicate effectively, encouraging open dialogue about both personal and business-related issues. This can help avoid misunderstandings and ensure both partners feel heard.
Disagreements are common in both romantic and business relationships. Counseling can teach partners how to address conflicts constructively, rather than letting them escalate or negatively impact their personal or professional relationship.
Balancing professional roles with personal ones can be difficult. A counselor can assist in clearly defining and maintaining boundaries between business and personal life, which can help prevent one from encroaching on the other.
Running a business can be highly stressful, which can take a toll on a romantic relationship. A counselor can provide strategies for managing stress, which can help maintain both business and romantic relationship health.
Counselors can help partners to strike a balance between their business and personal lives. They can provide strategies for managing time effectively, setting aside quality time for each other outside of work, and maintaining a healthy lifestyle amidst the business demands.
Sometimes, partners just need an unbiased party to talk to about their concerns, fears, or frustrations. A counselor can provide that safe space and give guidance on how to navigate complex emotional landscapes in both the business and personal domains.
Counseling can provide tools and strategies for making decisions collaboratively, which can be particularly helpful in a context where business and personal decisions might overlap.
Running a business with your romantic partner can be challenging, but it also presents an incredible opportunity to bond on a deeper level and create something meaningful together. With clear roles, open communication, boundaries, and a commitment to nurturing your relationship, you can successfully navigate love and business. The relationship doesn’t need to be in crisis for it to benefit from preventative maintenance in the form of couples therapy.